Of Marshmallows And Thneeds

charlisheen:

charliblargh:

exsexily-whorebible:

thewhitetextguy:

iamthegodtiercorr:

holatoreador:

yamaburi:

shoryukens:

chocopiesforever:

trishs-fountain-of-bullshit:

yourstraysheep:

button-pusher:

theroyalstranger:

gilgameshsexual:

akechi-bellflower:

Prowling along the freeway, swinging a vorpal blade, cometh Akechi-bellflower! And she gives a cruel bellow:

“I’m going to pound you into your own personal hell!”

Stalking through the plains, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Gilgamesh’s Gold Bar! And he gives a gutteral scream:

“I’m going to use you like a hand puppet!!”

1. Yea, verily. Who is that, rampaging out of the freeway! It is Nichole, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a booming howl, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to torment you until your mom feels it in her womb!”

2. Hark! Who is that, sprinting amidst the mini-mall parking lot! It is Theroyalstranger, hands clutching a vorpal blade! She bellows apocalyptically:

“I’m going to spank you to the moon and back!”

Running along the terrain, clutching a studded crowbar, cometh Button-pusher! And she gives a bloodthirsty roar:

“I’m going to flog you until you bleed puke, and hijack your momma’s airplane!!”

Striding through the icy wasteland, carrying a mighty sword, cometh Yourstraysheep! And he gives a booming bellow:

“I’m going to fuck you for such a long time, you will not be able to see straight!!!”

Yea, verily: Who is that, running along the candy store! It is trishs-fountain-of-bullshit, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She bellows mightily:

“I’m going to hack into your brain, and type rm -rf !”

Sprinting across the wasteland, carrying a vorpal blade, cometh Chocopie! And she gives a booming cry:

“I’m going to fuck you harder than God thought possible, and grin like a fucking maniac!!”

Skulking over the terrain, carrying an oversized scalpel, cometh Shoryukens! And she gives a spectacular howl:

“I’m going to fuck you until you have puppies!”

Who is that, running amidst the desert! It is YamaBuri, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a cruel howl, her voice cometh: 

“This one’s for you, mom! I bring annihilation and cheap beer!”

Sprinting over the steppes, attacking with buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Holatoreador! And he gives a gutteral cry:

“As sure as predators devour prey, I destroy all in my path until my glands are satisfied!”

Sprinting through the mini-mall parking lot, swinging two hardened pitas, cometh Iamthegodtiercorr! And she gives a low grunt:

“I’m going to flog you beyond your expiration date!!”

Who is that, rampaging over the cliffs! It is Eli, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a bloodthirsty scream, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to brutalize you in such an inhumane manner, you’ll reincarnate as an X-file!!”

Prowling on the tundra, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Exsexily-whorebible! And she gives a gutteral scream:

“I’m seriously going to fuck you like a rabid gangsta bitch!!!”

Sprinting on the wasteland swinging a vorpal blade blade cometh Charli! And she gives a vengeful bellow: 

“I’m seriously going to pulverize you until you bleed puke!!!”

 

Zang! Who is that, stalking over the hotel lobby! It is Charli, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a gutteral grunt, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to pound you until you pee fire!!!”

perfect

Who is that, prowling on the wasteland! It is April, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a bloodthirsty howl, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to flog you with such reckless abandon, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!!”

(Source: chantillyxlacey)